Lisa Siregar

‘Committed’ is the Elizabeth Gilbert’s exploration the values and difficulties of marriage. (Photo courtesy the author)

Author Elizabeth Gilbert Explores Marriage in ‘Committed’

Three years have gone by since Elizabeth Gilbert published her blockbuster memoir, “Eat, Pray, Love,” and its successor, “Committed,” will be launched today at Times bookstores in Jakarta.

“Committed” picks up 18 months after “Eat, Pray, Love” left off, and recounts how Gilbert came to marry Jose Nunes, whom readers will know as Felipe — the Brazilian-born Australian lover she met when visiting Bali.

When Gilbert wrote “Eat, Pray and Love,” she was 34. Her first marriage had ended in a bitter divorce and she was sure she would never marry again. She is now 40, married to Nunes and living in Frenchtown, New Jersey.

Whereas “Eat, Pray and Love” was about what can happen when you claim responsibility for your own happiness, “Committed” is a meditation on the significance of marriage. Different cultures have their own attitudes toward matrimony. Gilbert discusses some of these in “Committed,” while being careful to point out that her values regarding marriage have been shaped by her experiences growing up in Western society. From the beginning, Gilbert makes it clear that she wants to focus on the history of the monogamous Western marriage.

The book starts with a short description of how things are going with “Felipe,” post-Bali. Gilbert has taken him back to the United States and they have settled in Philadelphia, but Felipe must leave for a few weeks every three months to extend his visa. After some time, immigration authorities spot a pattern, which they see as an attempt by Felipe to live illegally in the States. Felipe is ordered to leave, returning to Australia where he holds citizenship.

Gilbert soon meets him for what turns into 10 more months of travel through Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand.

She explores these other cultures in the book for guidance and wisdom about the institution of marriage.

Her first observation is how Hmong women in the mountains of northern Vietnam find their husbands and marry. The author is contemplative when describing how the selfless women sacrifice their personal contentment to fulfill their role in the tribe.

There is also a chapter on the history of matrimony in the book. Here, Gilbert catalogues the purpose of marriage over the centuries, from economic independence to physical safety.

For those of you who, like Gilbert, don’t find it easy to accept the concept of marriage, reading this book is like having coffee with a lawyer-friend who gives you an interesting mix of traditional and religious (particularly Christian) values on marriage.

Gilbert skips back and forth between the facts on marriage and her life with Felipe.

After expressing facts and her thoughts for almost half the book, she also includes the challenge of dealing with Felipe during his worst moments and her own reckless tendencies. She also honestly conveys how writing the book could not fully drive her doubts about marriage away.

Bali appears again in the book as a place for the couple to plan their future together in the United States, despite the unknown return date.

“Committed” is for those who crave a brief analysis of marriage, incorporating as many values as possible. Everything is delivered with witty narration, complete with anecdotes of cultural interactions Gilbert had throughout the journey, exhibiting her talent as a writer cum journalist. The book is a collection of stories about people from different places, showing a deeper understanding of life, and a more mature side of the author.


Road to Success Paved With Rejection Letters
Lisa Siregar

Elizabeth Gilbert was born in 1969 in Connecticut in the United States and grew up on her family’s small Christmas tree farm. She has worked as a short story writer and as a journalist.

Gilbert states on her official Web site that writing should be regarded as a holy calling. “I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns,” she said.

She has also said that she initially had no clue on how to be a writer and that she “just began.”

Gilbert, who travelled around the United States and overseas after she graduated from college, was 19 when she started sending out short stories for publication.

It took her more than five years before she finally broke onto the literary scene. At first, Gilbert said she had low expectations and her only goal was to publish something before she died.

“I collected only massive piles of rejection notes for years,” she said. “I sort of figured I’d be rejected,” Equipped with patience and a belief that it was not productive to doubt her own abilities, Gilbert finally had her chance when Esquire magazine published one of her short stories in 1993.

After that, the offers to buy her work started to flood in.

Her first book, a collection of short stories called “Pilgrims,” was a New York Times Notable Book, a finalist for the PEN/Hemingway Award, and received the Pushcart Prize. Her second book, “Stern Men,” is a novel about lobster fishing territory wars off the coast of Maine, which was also a New York Times Notable book.

“The Last American Man,” a Eustace Conway biography, was a finalist for The National Book Award and The National Book Critic’s Circle Award in 2002.

“Eat, Pray, Love” is not her first written work to be turned into a Hollywood movie. A memoir about her bartending years became the movie “Coyote Ugly.”

While writing “Eat, Pray, Love,” Gilbert admitted that she experienced high levels of stress and feared that the book would not be good enough.

“I just had a strong mantra of ‘this sucks’ ringing through my head, as anyone does when they write anything,” she said.

However, she finally managed to shake off her doubt and finished the book.

“I never promised the universe that I would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write. So I put my head down and sweated through it, as per my vows,” she said.

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